For en som vokste opp under Keegan og vagt husker Bremner er det litt trist at det har gått som det har gått. Og fordi det har gått som det har gått er det naturlig nok alt for lite om Leeds på dette forumet. Det følgende er ikke direkte morsom lesning, men jeg tar allikevel sjansen på å sitere humorspalten i The Guardian. Så får man heller skjelle meg ut hvis man føler seg støtt.
LEEDS BE HAVIN' YOU
Ah hello there, Nasty Leeds, we've been expecting you. Please, step inside. The Fiver's all-new psychiatric facility has been custom-made to cater to your needs: our demoralised and underperforming staff are at your service at all times, as a special tribute to your own; we also offer electrotherapy, as a homage to your chairman Ken Bates; and, as a special treat, we'll make you pay ludicrously large fees that we know you can't afford, in memory of the man who set your problems snowballing in the first place, the great Peter Ridsdale. So tell us, what's on your mind?
You've got a sinking feeling? Well of course you do! But don't worry, things will stabilise over the coming weeks - in fact, since you're at the bottom of the Championship you won't fall any farther until May, when you'll plummet to the third tier of English football for the first time ever. What's that, you're feeling unloved? Well of course you are! Not only did your manager claim one of your own players leaked his plans to opponents Crystal Palace before a recent league match, but he now says your captain, Kevin Nicholls, wants to return to the club he left last summer. And let's face it, you really know you're up the creek when someone says he'd rather be in Luton!
You're having trouble identifying your priorities? Well of course you are! While Premiership clubs are slashing ticket prices to retain fans - the very people on whom their futures depend - Bates is stubbornly maintaining Elland Road prices at Big Cup levels while the team serve up League One fare. That's just not right, Nasty Leeds. What's more, Bates has risked landing himself in legal bother by publishing the address of a former club suit in the programme for last Saturday's miserable 3-2 defeat by 10-man Sheffield Wednesday. Melvyn Levi, who's in a dispute with Bates over a share issue, today railed: "He's encouraging fans to come around to my house after describing me in the worst possible terms ... it's totally disgraceful ... he should concentrate on sorting out the many problems within the club rather than persecute me in language the N@zis wouldn't use."
Of course, your chairman isn't in the least bit remorseful: "He's lucky I didn't put in his telephone number," roared the rabble-rouser before snorting "I'm waiting for his writ ... if he's got a problem he should speak to me directly." On second thoughts, don't step inside, Nasty Leeds. The law forbids us applying the treatment you need. Euthanasia is legal in Switzerland, but the irony is you wouldn't need it if there was any chance of you ever getting into Europe again.